eat at Grandma's house! She makes the best chicken ever.
Elsie's Velvet Chicken
Butterfly, rinse and dry one pan-sized fryer chicken. (If it's bigger than your pan when you butterfly it...get a bigger pan! This is worth it.)
Rub the chicken with a generous amount of salt, inside and out. Make sure you give his armpits a good scour with the salt, and massage it thoroughly into his thighs - relaxed chickens are happy chickens!
Next, find your envelopes of Knoors chicken rub (yihm guhk gai fan, if you get it at an Asian market). Rub half of one envelope into the chicken, making sure that you get it evenly distributed, inside and out.
Now, put that chicken on a plate, cover him in plastic, and let him rest overnight in the fridge - he's had a hard day!
When you are ready to eat Mssr. Chicken, heat up a frying pan big enough to hold the chicken. The pan should be hot enough that water will sizzle, but not so hot that water will jump when it hits the pan.
When the pan is heated, place the chicken (skin side down!) inside the pan, cover, and cook for ten minutes.
After ten minutes, turn the chicken over, cover, and cook for another ten minutes.
Test the thigh - poke it with a fork. Does any blood come out? If the juice is at all pink when it comes out, cover and cook for another five minutes.
If you have an electric stove, turn your burner off, leave the chicken covered, and it will be perfectly cooked by dinner time.
If you have a gas stove, turn your burner down to its lowest setting, and let the chicken hang out for another ten minutes or so.
When you are ready to eat, draw and quarter your chicken. Serve with rice and vegetables.